When I was ten years old, I decided to self-publish my own diet book. My mom thought I was a natural born writer and I probably did too. She signed me up for a book writing competition where the top 25 books would get published.
At the time, I thought I was the healthiest ten year old in America, so I figured why not educate the rest of my peers about nutrition. The book is titled "I No How to Eat." I promise I did know how to spell the word "know", but I tried to find some clever way of indicating that the main character didn't. I know now, looking back on it, that it literally makes no sense.
The story follows the life of an obese cat, Meeka, who lives like a human and eats like absolute shit. After some turn of events, Meeka then realizes that she needs to lose weight and goes on a whole fitness journey involving the gym and healthy eating. Or whatever I thought healthy eating was at that time. The book ends on the correctly spelled version of know, which means Meeka finally learned how to eat healthy.
About 6 months later, I got a call back about my book and it turns out it was on the list for being published. Shocking, I know. But as luck should have it, the publishing company had gone bankrupt.
Here's some pictures of my best-seller, so you can all have a peak on the literary masterpiece you missed out on.